Azkaban 804
How 3 Russian backpackers named he who cannot be named on PTV
Two Russian travelers, Sam and Rustam, set off from Moscow on a bold journey to Indonesia. Their plan? A zero-budget adventure, relying on hitchhiking to navigate through Central Asia. After traversing vast landscapes and cultures, they eventually found themselves in Pakistan. But here, they hit an unexpected roadblock.
Their goal was to cross the Wagah border into India, but they discovered that first-time visitors to India are required to fly into the country rather than enter by land. This left them with two options: either call home for financial support or find a way to earn enough money for plane tickets. Choosing the latter, Sam and Rustam decided to put their talents to use and formed a makeshift band.
They called themselves Russi Mirasi, blending the Russian word for their nationality with the Urdu term for traditional street performers or Bards. With a guitar in hand and plenty of charisma, the duo began performing in the various bustling markaz’s of Islamabad. To their surprise, they were an instant hit. Crowds gathered, intrigued by the novelty of street music in a city unaccustomed to such performances. Within a week, Russi Mirasi had earned an impressive 100,000 PKR—a remarkable feat for two travelers who started with empty pockets.
Their growing fame soon attracted others. A fellow Russian traveler from Saint Petersburg joined the band, bringing freestyle singing into the mix. Not long after, a German backpacker passing through Islamabad added his energy to the ensemble and acted as their producer, going around after every set to collect money. And just like that, the Russi Mirasi expanded to include three Russians and a German—an eclectic group performing across the city, breathing life into Islamabad’s often quiet streets.
But the story doesn’t end there. Last week, while performing outside the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf in F-6, a peculiar man in the crowd caught their attention. He approached them after their set, asking about their journey and their music. As it turned out, he was a producer at Pakistan Television (PTV), the country’s state-owned broadcaster.
The producer, captivated by their story, wasted no time inviting them to perform on a morning show. Seizing the opportunity, Russi Mirasi quickly prepared a special rendition of “Dil Dil Pakistan,” a patriotic anthem beloved by Pakistanis. However, the new addition to the band—the freestyle Russian rapper—had something entirely different in mind.
He decided to spice things up with an allegorical freestyle rap in the middle of the performance. Instead of singing in Urdu, he rapped in Russian about his observations of Pakistan, society, and politics. Inspired by the political turbulence of the past two years and the persona of Imran Khan, he crafted a clever metaphor, comparing the former Prime Minister to the Prisoner of Azkaban from the Harry Potter books.
We’ve landed in a fairy tale, straight out of a Harry Potter scene,
No Hermione around, just us red-haired Weasleys on the team.
Every day’s a concert, we keep rolling down the road,
No room for us on a bike, so it’s a minivan we load.
In Pakistan, they said, it’s chaos and drama,
Truth is, people want their prisoner out of Azkaban.
Locked up for over a year, the guards hold tight,
If we don’t chase off the Dementors, they’ll drain all the light.
Everyone’s hoping to see him free and strong,
He Who Cannot Be Named on TV for now too long.
Let good prevail, and evil begone for real—
You caught the allegory here, or is the meaning not clear?
I’ll be barefaced, no beard, no mustache to display,
And there’ll be a happy ending if we all grow kinder today.
We’re brothers—if not by blood, by the fight to agree,
One day, Russia and Pakistan will both break free!
Here’s where it gets even more fascinating: Imran Khan’s name is a sensitive topic on Pakistan’s television networks, especially on the state-owned broadcaster. Mentioning him on air is practically forbidden. But since PTV had no Russian translators—or perhaps didn’t bother with due diligence—the rap went completely unnoticed by the producers. The show aired live, leaving viewers clueless about the message woven into the performance.
And so, the Russi Mirasi not only brought a new energy to the streets of Islamabad but also left their mark on national television in the most unconventional way. From hitchhiking adventurers to unwitting political commentators, their journey continues to be a story worth following.